Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
