Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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