You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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