its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
