David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
