I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
