Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
a search helicopter?!
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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