his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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