I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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