well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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