I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's rum buckets o'clock
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
