My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
