I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
