She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
