I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
