i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
