At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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