I'm so fucking centered right now
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
