How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
