dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
