i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
