It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize