Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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