Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
you never un-have a 4some
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
