two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
