and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize