After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
