If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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