Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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