when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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