Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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