Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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