is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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