So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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