Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
