I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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