He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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