omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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