it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
