Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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