Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
