Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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