So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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