I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
