Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
