I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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