New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Idk if I want to put a bra on
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
