4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
