it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
no you cant smoke seaweed
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
