bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
