Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
