I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
