did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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