he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
